Conversation between Adam Milner and Keith Milner, January 20, 2026,
on the occasion of Dada at Yehudi Hollander-Pappi. Some names have been changed.
Dad: So what are we talking about?
Ad: Well, I wrote down a few questions. Is it okay if I record it so I can write it down later?
D: No no no that’s fine, whatever you want to do, record it, print it, whatever you want to do, you know that I don't ever care. Nobody knows or cares who I am or what I do. So it's always fine, yeah.
A: Thank you, I really appreciate that.
D: Not a problem.
A: I don't know if you can hear. I don't have a voice because I've been going out partying too much, so. . .
D: I can hear you fine. I can hear you fine. Yeah. You don’t have to yell when you go out and party.
A: What'd you say?
D: You don't have to yell when you go out and party. And lose your voice.
A: Well, if the dance floor is loud, I do. If, if someone. . .
D: “I LOVE THIS JAM!”
A: And singing along.
D: Yeah, I do that a lot. Never around people though, they don't like that.
A: Um, okay, tell me. Tell me about the minis and welding. Just tell me a little about that.
D: As far as the minis go, I mean, I've been welding since ‘82 for money. You know, went to school before that, but—
A: So you were 18?
D: I left high school early. I had all my credits. I graduated early. I was also the youngest in my whole class of 500-some. And I said, “I'll see you in three months at the ceremony.” And so I went and got a job, and met your mom, and seemed like the thing to do was to have sex with her. So on New Year's Eve, got her pregnant, and so then after that, it was just pretty much, you know, trying to take care of stuff. And as far as the minis and the little projects go, I didn't really do a whole lot until I had you kids, and then I started wanting to, you know, make some stuff that would be around, you know?
A: So you graduated when you were, what, 16, 17?
D: 17, yeah, 1982, Alameda, youngest in my class.
A: And you started welding right away.
D: Yeah right away.
A: And you had Aaron right away.
D: Yeah, well, yeah, shortly thereafter, yep. After I met your mom and whatnot. We started going out— I don't know if we'd gone out like more than two weeks, probably not. Probably about that.
A: And was there something about welding that appealed to you, that you remember when you were young?
D: Well I remember, I hadn't really spent, like— you know, you guys have planned and everything. And you know, you and Janelle both kind of were looking forward. I wasn't, you know, Papa and Grandma were working, and me and Kevin kind of were on our own most of the day. And so, you know, I was raised by I Dream of Jeannie, which explains a lot.
A: Yeah.
D: So I wasn't really planning or thinking ahead. I was thinking about this upcoming weekend, smoking pot, trying to get laid, that was pretty much my deal, and I was good at it. So I did. I had fun. That was what I liked. So, you know— girls were so cute, and so I was just super nice to them. Papa taught me that, and the charmingly stupid thing usually worked on somebody. So I didn't really plan it. In high school, I took a welding class, and Mr. Schenk— I did get suspended. Me and Tim Fry were smoking pot in this little room in the school, which, uh, not smart. And so we got caught. And so I did get suspended for a few days, which I thought was great. I get in trouble, and they tell me I don't have to come to school for three days. So, but other than that, Mr. Schenk, you know, really liked me, and he liked my welding. He said, “Your welds are better than mine.” And he said, “Have you ever considered maybe going for more schooling or maybe looking at that as a career?” And Uncle Clyde, who we knew was a little rough around the edges, but didn't know how bad he actually was till later, but I always kind of looked up to my Uncle Clyde, and and he was a welder, so I talked to him about it, and he showed me a few things and talked to me about it, and so I decided to go to Red Rocks, half of my days at high school. I would go to two classes at Alameda, and then off I would go to get a sandwich, and then up to Warren Tech at Red Rocks. And it was like a three-hour class every day. And I did the two years of that, and a summer in between, and those were five-hour classes. And I did really well there, you know, so when I was all done, and graduated, and they let me out early at Alameda, I went and got a job and that was that, you know. And the minis, I hadn’t really made anything like that, or even thought about it. I was just trying to make my boss happy and all that. And at the one place, I was the only welder. I’d do other stuff too. You know, I’d drive the parts to the plater, and do tapping, do everything—there's only a few people there. And so I had some time back then, and that's when I made. . . seemed like the first thing I made was the Ninja Turtle, and then the dragster. The lawnmower came later. It was an exact replica of— The one year there was no welding, really. And so I was doing landscaping, is what I'd say—we were mowing lawns—we had about 25 to do a day.
A: I remember that, I think. I remember that.
D: Yeah, we bought these Bobcat mowers from the elementary school I used to go to. They were selling them, and they're not self-propelled or nothing, aluminum decks. They're commercial grade Bobcat, 21-inch mowers, and we loved them. The wheels were not plastic, they had bearings. I mean, these things, you had to push them yourself, but the engines were really strong. And Fred, we’d keep them at Fred’s, because he had all the accounts, and he had the truck and all that. But we all bought our own mower. I had mine powder coated like a Rockies purple and black, it was like a silver vein, but purple instead of silver. Yeah, it was really cool. And they painted theirs, and their paint was rubbing off right away. They'd go up against a brick building or anything, you know, and it’d just take the paint right off. And mine, I'd hose it off at the end of day, and it looked great, but the little lawnmower is an exact replica of a Bobcat, so I really liked it. It's one of my favorites. And just did a few of the minis when I could.
A: How'd you do that replica? Just by looking and—?
D: Yeah, I mean, I could see a Bobcat, a 21-inch Bobcat, when I closed my eyes, I could picture how the handle was, I mean, because we're using it every day, all day, and, you know, what the engine looked like, and it just had a little filter and oil cap, and then the pull starter. So I just kind of had lots of stuff where I was working, because they had a machine shop there. So it was little pieces of aluminum, little blocks and little slats, (like, where I’m at now, there's nothing like that), but you could make a lot of stuff out of it. So the Ninja Turtle: I saw this piece that was rounded on the back, and it was round, and I thought, that looks like a big turtle shell. And so I put, welded on, like what would look like spots, ground that down so it looked like a turtle shell. And then Aaron was into Ninja Turtles, so he'd watch the cartoons and play with the little guys. So I thought, well, I'll make it a Ninja Turtle. And he's a little rough looking, but I did him kind of like I did your Jani Lane, where I just kept adding welds until he looks like what I wanted him to look like. The little Ninja Turtle’s got muscles and everything, and a little brass belt that says R on it, or whatever, M, I think M—
A: It’s M for Michelangelo. Do you know why? Was that Aaron's favorite? Or why did you choose Michelangelo?
D: He loved them all. But it might have been, it might have been. . . I don't know why I went with that. It might have been because he used the nunchucks, he used to have a pair of nunchucks, but they, I think, got broke. But that was, I think, my first, like, cool little deal that I made that I really thought was cool. I made your mom a little card holder that looks just like a school desk, real simple, but looks just like it, and I even made a little pencil that I tack welded to the top, and it’s the exact size—I don't know if you've seen it—
A: I have—
D: To hold her business cards. So I really like that, even though it was simple, just because, you know, it was a school desk and it looked just like the ones you guys used in school. And so I liked that. I made a drum set that's right up there with one of the best of my stuff that I gave away. But it was a real cool little drum set, real heavy, you know, it wasn't aluminum, it was steel, and it was cool. I like to make stuff out of aluminum or stainless, because then I don't have to paint it. When I paint it, it's hard to tell that it's, you know, metal, and that it's all handmade and you can't see the work into it, whereas stainless or aluminum, it's not gonna rust, I don't have to paint it. I can leave it looking— that's why most of my stuff, like the dragster and stuff, it's unpainted, you know. And I like to leave stuff unpainted, because it really shows, you know, and stuff like that. Otherwise you don't know if it's just plastic or what.
A: Right. And I like when you can see the welds being used as, like, clay, almost, and—
D: Right, oh yeah, no, exactly! And the little lawnmower and the dragster, I think, are the best for that. There's just so many welds on it. The dragster is actually made out of aluminum welding rod. The frame of the dragster, I just used a 16th rod, which is pretty heavy, thick rod. And then, you know, I got the idea when I found two deals that looked like the back tires, the back wheels. And I said, Oh, this would be perfect for a dragster, you know, so that's how that went. And the engine and the front wheels, you know, I had to kind of make by hand and drill and and try to make everything look right, you know. But those are both real detailed as far as, like, the lawn mower is real detailed, and I was wanting to make the blade to where it would turn, but there's a blade under there that looks exactly like a Bobcat blade and everything. But other than that, it kind of slowed down, you know, until you started having me do stuff, and that's been fun. The little candle: When you first gave me that picture, I thought, What are we doing here? How do I make that? To where it would actually look like it. And I love that side view picture you have of it, of the two of them.
A: Yeah, you did an amazing job with that one. And I love how—
D: The whole time I was doing it, I thought this is just not going to look like the candle. You know, the candle with the different colors, you can see the different textures, what's wax, what's not, and when I'm making it, everything's the same color. So you got to really make it look like it. You know?
A: That one feels like an exact replica to me, too. And I like when you can see the found materials, like the washer or something.
D: Oh yeah, where you can see kind of how it was made. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. I like it too because that way you can tell that it's, you know, somebody just made it. Now, I've never liked— you've probably seen them places where they weld, like the big nuts and bolts and make a motorcycle or something. I've never really liked those. They just don't, they just look kind of, you know, like bolts and nuts. And so you really got me to try and, you know, somehow make this piece of metal look like this wax dripping off the candle or whatever, or the wick, and I'm like, Oh man, Adam's just gonna drive me nuts here. But it's been so fun, and I wish I had more time. I would have to do what I could at work. I would do a little bit on break, maybe a little bit before break. Where when I was doing the stuff when you were kids, I could sit back in my area. I was at the back of the shop, and Hoffman, who was your mom's stepdad, he was one of the three owners— I could do whatever I want, because I could see them coming if I had to, and I got way more done than they ever dreamed was possible. So that helped too. They were never like, you know, “You gotta be doing this.” They were always just shocked how much I got done every day. And so, I mean, once you learn how to weld, it's more about, how many can you weld? So it's more of figuring out a way to do it super fast. A couple of the employees I've had the last few years, they just don't quite get that. They're all proud of the welding. And I'm like, “That's great. It looks beautiful. But this isn't that hard to do. And what they're really concerned about is how many we get done.” And as long as they go through grinding without having to come back with little spots that need filled in, as long as there's not welds that are forgotten. A lot of people are just like, “Oh, I forgot that one.” I'm like, “Well, you can't forget that one!” You know. And so I was pretty much 100% of everything they did, I’d look over all the parts— My guy Woo at work, he really helps me with that. He'll, “Sir, sir.” He calls me sir, and he'll show me a part that's missing a weld, and I'll pull it out and put it on there. But yeah, he's great at that.
A: I know you're also—
D: He’ll walk by a pile of parts and he'll see something, just like, as we walk by, that something's missing a weld, and I’m like, it's amazing.
A: Wow. Yeah. And I know you're good at knowing when you don't need a weld too, like to make it more efficient?
D: Yeah, yeah. Like, especially if you're trying to get a high number of parts, you don't want to be putting five clamps on it if it needs one, and you don't want to be putting a bunch of welds that it doesn't need. Yeah. So yeah, it's pretty easy, after a while, to understand, okay, this needs a little more strength here, or this here, once they grind it off, there’s not going to be much holding it. I need to put a tack on the underside of that for strength. You know, you kind of learn as you go, and some of its common sense, as far as the structural integrity and whatnot of stuff. The little minis have lasted a long time. I mean, I made them, like some of them 30, 40 years ago. I've got a pair of clamps that I still use, that you kids gave me for Father's Day. They're like a little furniture slide clamp. They're brass, though, they're about 10 inches long, and I don't need them too often, but when I need them, they are the perfect thing. And everybody who sees them is like, “Where'd you get those?” I've had them for like, 40 years. Your mom bought them, you know, and they were given to me from you guys on Father's Day. So I still have those and use them. They're part of my, you know, not everyday, but I have them right there in my box. Haven't lost them, I’ve got two of them, and I've had them literally, like 40 years. You were really tiny.
A: I still have the welding helmet you gave me, your old helmet. Before you said that, did you say something else? I didn't hear you.
D: I was just talking about the integrity of stuff and all that, like the little dragster— I mean, you almost can't— It's only out of aluminum wire, so you could kind of bend it up if— a hammer would destroy it, but it's very strong and sturdy. Same with the lawnmower, you know, nothing's like real shaky or nothing, I try to make them so they’ll last you know, like Hot Wheels or Tonka.
A: I love the Snoopy you made me.
D: Yeah, I've tried to make another one, and I just, I don't know, I just— I should be able to just make them and make them and I've tried, and they don't come out like that one did.
A: Yeah, that's how it is.
D: I guess so! I guess so. I like making a little snowmen Snoopy, about knee high. If we ever get any snow, I love doing that. If I make one, I'll take a picture.
A: Please.
D: Yeah, it comes out looking just like Snoopy. You know, he's the one thing I can do.
A: Yeah, when I was at the Skowhegan artist residency up in Maine—
D: Oh yeah!
A: We all took little—it's called plein air—painting sets, like, little travel painting boxes, so that we could make oil paintings on a hike. And, you know, we're just looking at the landscape and the rocks and painting it right there.
D: Yeah yeah, make them on the go.
A: Yeah, and I was with all these serious painters. And you know, I'm not really painting that often. And I made the best painting in the group, you know, for sure. And everyone agreed. But then my friend Jenny said, “Okay, now you're gonna try to do that again at our next location, and you're gonna try to recreate the magic of those colors or what you did here and there.”
D: Without having the actual thing there?
A: No, she means like— because I was painting mushrooms. She's like, “Okay, so the next mushroom you find, you're gonna try to make a good painting again, and it won't be this good. And she's like, and that's what painters do their whole lives.”
D: So your first one's the best one?
A: Well, for me, at least.
D: But yeah, I know what you’re saying!
A: It's like, you can't recreate something that you did.
D: Yeah! I thought I'd be able to just make another one, you know. And then I have literally tried, and I’ve started him. I start with the feet, and then I made a little body, little fat body, and I could never even get past the feet, they're not right. So I'm just like, yeah, just like, scrap that!
A: Tell me about the record player.
D: Okay, I was working at a place at the time that did performance auto parts for guys with race cars. And our main thing was, there was a lot of these dirt track drivers. There's a bunch of them, or at least back then. They’re kind of between a car and a go kart, little dune buggy type thing, and they would race them on these dirt tracks, and when they would blow a motor, metal goes through the oil pump and destroys it. And so what we would do is, we sold the pumps, and then as they would blow a motor and destroy the pump, we would take it apart and machine it like where it had gouges, everything needs to be smooth, to keep the oil sealed in and to keep the compression good. And so we would, on the lathe, we would turn down these parts of the pump till they were smooth again. And so I was doing a lot of lathe work and some mill work with the mill, you know, chunks of metal. And so that's where I saw something that kind of reminded me of, I think it started with the album, the little vinyl album that sits on it. And I thought it looks like a little record. And then I thought— and I had, when I was young, before I could even drive, I was working: junior high, after school, I would stop at Casual Furniture where I worked. I would assemble furniture, water the plants, and mow the lawn, once a week, and so I would assemble this outdoor patio furniture for this place. And– . . .
A: . . . You're cut— You're cutting out. I don't hear you, but I'm just gonna wait a second.
[Call ends] [Ringing]
D: Hello!
A: Hey, sorry.
D: I don't know when I lost you.
A: You were saying you were working, assembling—
D: Okay, can you hear me?
A: Yeah, you were talking about watering the plants, assembling the furniture. I think you were talking about saving up money, maybe?
D: Yeah, for a stereo system, a nice one. A real nice one, 900 bucks, and so I bought this stereo and it had this sweet turntable, and that's kind of what I modeled it after. But funny thing, you know, I lost you there, and I'm talking to where I don't even know I lost you. When I first met Veronica, I was talking to her, and I was going on and on, and she's quiet anyhow, so she's a listener, not a talker, but she would put the phone down and go do something, like she's always cleaning, doing something, right? She forgot that I was even on the phone. She said she came back 45 minutes later, picked up the phone and I was still talking.
A: Yeah, I believe it!
D: And she put the phone back down and went and did something else. I talked for over an hour without her even on the phone. I told her “Well now I gotta start over!” She goes, “No!”
A: “No, I walked away for a reason.” I'm a little like that too.
D: Oh my God. She goes, “Who talks about themself for an hour?” And I said, “Well, we just met,” you know. I'm lucky she didn't just— but yeah, it was so funny.
A: My friends are good listeners.
D: Oh shit. She laughs about that still.
A: And so the record player is one of your only machined or lathed ones?
D: Yeah, pretty much. There's not really any welding on it. It’s machined. There's a tiny little weld on the tone arm, I believe. But it might be actually a little drop of super glue that I went with because that tone arm is so thin to really weld it. But I think that the cartridge that would have the needle in it, you know, I think that's welded on there. I'm not sure. But, yeah, it's all machined. But it was because of the stereo I had. And then I saw that one deal looked like a record album. I thought, Oh, I can make a cool little— I liked the size of it. It was, you know, a smaller little thing, you know. So I just kind of made that. And that wasn't a place I could really spend a lot of time screwing around, but I did a little bit here, a little bit there, pretty soon I had that, yeah, and it came out pretty nice.
A: It's really cool, because the record can come off, the needle can move.
D: Yeah, yeah! I had fun with all that stuff. I wish I could make some more stuff now. I kind of try. I've actually been trying to make a tennis racket, a little mini tennis racket, because I’ve been watching so much tennis, you know? And at first it looked like it was going to be so perfect, and then it looked kind of shaky, and then I thought I saved it. But I'm not real thrilled with it. And what needs to be fixed on it now, I don't really— maybe with my Dremel, I need to grind away some of— I've got edges that aren't— it looks like kind of a mess now. I tried to start it with just a little screen that was the netting, you know, and then made the handle and the head around it, and it's about— it would fit in the palm of your hand, you know, a little tennis racket. So it might, it might survive. It needs surgery, though.
A: Wow, yeah, I can't wait to see it.
D: Yeah, other than that, I mean, unless you gave me something to do. I don't know if my creativity is not what it used to be, or my ambition to put the work in on stuff. I have two breaks and a lunch, and back when I made that other stuff, I mean, I was all about it. You know, every second I could work on it, I was, and now I'm just kind of like, it's tough to do that, you know? I'm just trying to get through the day.
A: Totally.
D: I'm 60 some years old. Everything hurts, you know?
A: Yeah.
D: So I'm not just like— because I've been real lucky, as far as you know, that goes, as far as you know, being able to be active and whatnot without really working-out to speak of. Tony Chiavetta, he gets so mad that I didn't go to the class reunions and stuff, he says, especially the last couple, he said, “Everybody looks horrible, except me and you!” I said, “Well, why do I want to go there if all the girls look horrible?” He goes, “Well, good point.” I could just hang out with Mimi, Tony’s wife, I love her. Yeah, she's beautiful.
A: But yeah, we're lucky. We're lucky in some sense, because I'm kind of the same. I eat like shit, I don't exercise, and yet I'm pretty fit.
D: Well, right, right! And all that biking you did and walking, definitely helped. But yeah, just your size kind of, we got that from Papa, you know. Sometimes, I remember when I was in junior high and stuff, I was mad, because there was a couple guys, you know, that were real muscley, big guys. And everybody was all impressed with that. And I was like, Ah, I wish I was just bigger, you know. And that didn't last long. I was certainly glad as I got, you know, because— Like, I always said, like, moving stuff, I'm strong enough to pick up half of anything, light enough to be able to hop up and down in the truck all day.
A: Right!
D: And walk all that back-and-forth and stuff. So it works out pretty good. And—
A: I remember you always used to jump up onto stuff.
D: Yeah. Or me and Tony were the only two who could dunk on the hoop on Elm Street.
A: Dunk on the hoop and then use the hoop—
D: I would go off the fireplace that it was mounted to, I would go off that and dunk. You remember that?
A: Yeah and I remember you—
D: Landing on my ass sometimes?
A: No, dunking, and using the hoop to swing into the window.
D: I'd climb up there if we were locked out, yeah!
A: When we locked the keys in the house.
D: That's dangerous. That's dangerous. I'm trusting whoever mounted that onto the fireplace. There’s a lot of stuff like that, where I'm damn lucky, it didn't, you know, come loose. And I've done so much stuff like that, I can't even remember.
A: Well, we all are lucky, because that would have been bad. I was always afraid you were showing the criminals how to get into our house, but I don't—
D: “Keep an eye out while I climb up to the window!”
A: Yeah, I don't think most people could have done it, even if they saw it, I guess.
D: Yeah, probably not, probably not.
A: How is everyone doing?
D: Kendall got the job he was hoping for. You know, so he doesn't load liquor trucks no more. He works from home. He moved to a place a lot closer to Grandma's. Not a great— the particular blocks he's on and stuff, not the best, you wouldn't want— I told him, “You don’t want people to know about all the stuff you're buying and comics and stuff you have delivered here.” The house itself is very nice, and the girl that lives there is very nice, and it's just him and her. She has her boyfriend over once while. She has a dog, but it's a lot better than the apartments he was in on 5th and Salem, which, I mean, that's carry-a-gun area there, and that's where he was, and he would have to Uber or take the bus to work and so now he's got the job, he can work from home, and supposedly, he's going to make a lot more money there doing that. I don't know how that's going, because it is commission-based, but, you know, he has a base and all that, and he hits some of his bets once in a while. So he never asks me for money.
A: Good. Yeah, that's good. He says, he tells me he's up with betting, but I feel like even if he and Aaron aren’t, they would say that.
D: Impossible. Yes yes, every gambler says that and none of them are being honest. At times they may be up. At times, they may be up 700 bucks. I won 700— I never bet, but I love Kyle Schwarber. He plays for the Phillies, home run hitter. And I told Aaron and Kendall, “He will be the home run king this year.” Most home runs, you know, they really keep track of that, baseball does, and he came in second. But the All-Star game, you know, there's like 60 guys in the All-Star game. I asked Kendall, “How much if I put 20 bucks on Schwarber to win the MVP at the All-Star game?” And he said, “700 bucks.” I said, “I'm sending you 20 right now.” And it was so crazy. I was listening to the All-Star game. It was almost over. It was tied, and they had different rules in place because a baseball game could go on forever.
A: Oh, totally.
D: You know, sometimes they just—
A: They're trying to get you to buy hot dogs.
D: Well, this with the All-Star game, they wanted it to be able to end in a timely fashion. So if it was tied, what they were going to do—they've never done this—kind of like in hockey, they go to a shootout where each team just sends a guy at the goalie, nobody guarding him, and he tries to score. And they do that back and forth. So it was kind of like that. It was, each coach picks three players. They each get only three pitches, no practices, no warm-ups, from a practice pitching coach that puts the screen up there and he's trying to give him a good one, but they each get three pitches is all, and try to see who hits the most home runs. Well, most guys didn't hit any home runs on three pitches. Schwarber hit all three pitches out! The first one, gone. The next one, gone! The crowd's going nuts. Third one, gone. He wins MVP, and I win 700 bucks on 20 bucks.
A: Awesome!
D: And Kendall got me my money quick.
A: That sounds fun.
D: Isn’t that crazy? I was yelling downstairs because I listened to it on the radio at work, then on the way home from work, then it's tied. I mean, I figured he would get up late in the game, hit a home run, and be the MVP. That's what I pictured, right? And he had a chance to do that, and he flied out. And then I thought, I hope it stays tied. I didn't even know how they were going to do the rules. The announcers were like, “Okay, so we're tied, and this is all new to us, so we're going to try to explain to you what's going to happen here.” And the announcers on the radio were explaining about the three pitches and this and that. But I was in the driveway, I got home, and I'm listening to it. Grandma's like, opening the door, wanting me to— It's 11 o'clock, and so I go inside, and then she's gotta tell me everything that everybody said, exactly how they said it. I'm like, “Grandma, we don't know those people,” (Papa says, “I do,”) that she's talking about. So I just politely let her tell me about her whole day. And then I go downstairs to see what happened, and the game's over and everything, and I'm watching, and all they're talking about is Schwarber hitting all three out, and that he was MVP. And I was like— I could not believe it! I was like, I cannot believe I nailed this. I mean, most guys that bet this stuff, they tell you how close they were to hitting it, but they don’t hit it. So that was really exciting for me. And I felt like all year, I mean, I was checking Schwarber’s stats every night. Did he hit a home run today? And it was Shohei Ohtani, I don't know if you know him. He’s a home run hitter, plus he's a pitcher. That hasn't happened since Babe Ruth, where the guy was like, a major power hitter and a pitcher. Shohei’s like, from another planet. Shohei had two— No, Cal Raleigh ended up winning and Shohei was third behind Schwarber. But yeah, Schwarber finished second in that, but he won the All-Star MVP. And I had just gotten two of his rookie cards that are autographed for cheap, and now they've gone way up. I sold my Bo Nix autograph right before the Broncos game for— I bought it for thirty when he first came into the league, and I sold it for 159 the other day.
A: Nice! That’s cool.
D: Yeah, I just mailed it. That's what I was doing at the post office. I had to get that bad boy in the mail for this fucker.
A: eBay?
D: Uh, yeah, yep. My 90 day total is over 1000 bucks that I've sold the last 90 days.
A: Oh, sweet.
D: Yeah, just stuff like a Jordan that your Grandpa Bill gave me, like 20 some years ago. I've had it stored away, perfect condition. Keeping it perfect and knowing where it's at, that's the key. Can I find it? I usually know where most stuff's at, and I'm also really good at, like— When we first got it, you know, Jordan wasn't the greatest of all time back then. He was the best that was playing. But, you know, his stuff was the highest, but not much higher than a couple other guys, you know? But certain cards, I knew this one is really hard to get. This one is really appealing. That's the other thing: It's gotta really be appealing. Some cards are really hard to get. The guy's like, well, there's only five of these. I'm like, “It's ugly! It’s bland, it's boring!” It’s gotta have some juice to it, you know?
A: Yeah, I love the— I remember as a little kid, you showing me the cards that are like, Oh, this is a piece of the ball or a piece of the court.
D: Oh, yeah yeah yeah!
A: And I feel like that really influenced me. That's like, what I make now is, like, put a little piece of something in something else.
D: Right, right! I’ve got some stuff like that still, I'll have to give you some of it, pieces of football in there, and—
A: It's like a little relic, you know, like when they have a piece of—
D: Yeah! That's what they call them, yep, yep.
A: Oh, they call it relic?
D: Yeah, like a relic card, yep. Or if it's a piece of the jersey, it'll be a jersey card. But they have pieces of the ball, pieces of the bat, pieces of the jersey, pieces of the helmet. I have a piece of Dan Marino's helmet. One card, I've never had one, but it actually had some of the dirt from around home plate . In the card it had like a little window, and inside there was some dirt.
A: I love that. What about, have there been any with, like, any body parts, like the player's hair, or blood?
D: Hair, hair. Yes, and it's more like, there's cards, like Benchwarmer makes them with all these models, you know. And I tend to have a lot of those. Famous models that were Playboy Playmate of the Year, or they were on Baywatch, or what have you. Pam Anderson, stuff like that. Their cards are worth a lot. And what I like about them is, these sports guys, the cards go up, and then they can go down to nothing. There was a guy that was coming out. I ended up getting a lot of his rookie cards that were autographed. He got a DUI and accidentally killed this lady and her dog in a car accident. He's in prison now, and his cards are worthless! And I got about twenty-five of them that I spent, you know, twenty bucks each on!
A: Damn, yeah.
D: So the sports guys, it's really risky.
A: They're more volatile because some of them get into trouble.
D: Yes, yes. Or once they retire, they're forgotten about, unless they're in announcing or what have you, or unless they were one of the best ever. You know, Marinos, those are still good. Piazza (baseball). But I found that, like, you know who Lady Death is in comic books?
A: You showed me, I think.
D: Yeah, she's a character and is very popular, and, you know, she's drawn very seductively, and so all the guys, they like her— easy on the eye, you know, to look at. Well, she never has a bad day. She never has a bad year. She never does nothing stupid. She just has a great body and is a great character. A lot of fans of her collect anything Lady Death: card, comic book, figure, t-shirt, anything! And so that's the type stuff that is valuable. And also, there's some of it that really connected to me, that I really like: certain characters, certain people. You know, I don't know if you remember when we went to the basketball practice. I'm pretty sure you were there, and I got you guys hats, and everybody's yelling for certain players to come over. I'm yelling for Bonnie Bernstein, the reporter chick, to come over, and she comes over. And Janelle took a picture of the two of us that I later mailed to her, and she signed and sent back to me. So I have that, but—
A: That's cool.
D: Bonnie Bernstein! Yeah, one of the best ever. Super cute. And I’m yelling, “Bonnie!” Everyone’s yelling, “McCants!” “Coach Williams!”, you know, and I’m yelling Bonnie.
A: I love that. And I love Pamela Anderson. I think she's probably your best investment.
D: She's right up there. You can watch her, there's a channel that's like Earth Day 365, it's called, that just shows great, amazing places, and she's a big part of that now. And you see her, you would think, Oh, you know, attractive, older woman. You can't even really tell it’s her, though, because she don't have a bathing suit on, I guess.
A: I saw her movie a couple years ago. She was in a big movie, and it was amazing.
D: And married to Tommy Lee, iconic drummer for Motley Crue. And there's a video, if you watch the video, called “Wild Side.” It's their best song. So cool. But he's in this contraption, drumming, and he has to buckle up, and it ends up going way up high, and it spins him around in a circle, like he's drumming, and he's upside down.
A: Oh, wow.
D: Yeah, you gotta watch this. It's called “Wild Side,” is the song, and it's a great song. Great song. Right up there with those Warrant songs I sent you. Motley Crue is the band and it’s called “Wild Side” and Tommy Lee does this thing with the drums. He's up there. And so to make this thing that he's in, it's amazing. I mean, it's this big, geared, metal thing he’s in, you can see him, but he's in there, and it's strong enough to hold him and his drums. He has to buckle into the seat because he's about to be upside down. It's so cool.
A: Wow.
D: And he does the whole drum solo part, while it's turning, turning him around upside down. So check that out, “Wild Side.”
A: And the Warrant song you sent me was “Down Boys,” right?
D: Down Boys, yeah. Warrant, yeah.
A: That's a good one.
D: That’s their best song. Yeah, they have a bunch of good songs, though. “Heaven” is about Jani Lane’s little kid, kind of like Opie has that song about his little kiddo. “Every tear drop, I kiss from your cheek. . .”
A: Yeah, little lullabies and stuff. Will Smith, “Just the Two of Us,”
D: Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. That's a Bill Withers song.
A: I know, I love Bill Withers.
D: Yeah, he has some great ones.
A: But Will Smith's cover is, like, rewritten to be about the kid.
D: Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that was right when you guys were in elementary school and you were, you know, bringing the heat, you know, down in Miami and all that. Will Smith, something else, his career. Goodness! And there’s a joke, it’s kind of like my mucho [joke], you know, you think it's going to be inappropriate, a racial joke— it’s not: How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the fresh prints!
A:
D:
A: That's good.
D: Fresh Prince. . . Yeah, yeah.
A: Yeah, he was amazing.
D: Well, how much— Can we continue this? Or did you get enough? Or what do you want to do? I am running out of time now.
A: Can I let you go and maybe we talk again?
D: Of course, yeah, this is great. Usually, I don't get to talk this much, you know, and actually, someone will want to listen!
A: Yeah, I’ll listen, I love it. You're heading to work now? Yeah, I gotta get off too in a minute, so I'll let you go and just text me stuff. I'll talk to you soon. Tell everyone hi for me.
D: Ok, yeah. We can finish it up whenever. Tomorrow, whenever is good for you.
A: Cool, yeah, maybe tomorrow works.
D: Okay.
A: Around the same time, yeah. All right, I love ya, thanks.
D: I love you too.
A: I'll talk to you soon.
D: All right, Adam.
A: Byebye. Have a good day.
D: You too. Love you, bye.
A: Love you, bye.
